never boring

brian and i are celebrating our 15th year in Dec.
dated 4 years b4 that
19 of the best years of my life
I LOVE HIM!!!!!!
so why do i argue with him still?
each argument never to different from that last.
Jen-you dont hear me
Brian-no, You dont hear Me
Jen-Why dont you listen?
Brian-Why don't you listen?
Jen- you always do this.
Brian- well you never do that.

on and on and on and on and on
quite a mystery at times

I prayed for a husband like Brian
I praised God for giving me such a great husband
i dont deserve the gift that Brian is in my life
Yet....
we drive each other crazy at times.
sometimes like speaking to a foreigner
we are saying the same thing just speaking a different language
why is that?
do i blame adam and eve?
do i blame myself?
should i stop blaming Brian?
i'm sure it is not the last one!:)

after a fight i truly feel my fallen nature.
after resolution i feel so remorseful and repentant
so connected and close to Brian after forgiveness
why am i me? why can't i be better?
why am i always right?:) j/k

Less of me and more of you God.

clothes shopping

i dont know when i became a speed shopper.
it must have been somewhere b/t kid 1 and 2.
i try to see as much as i can in a short time OR
find what i'm looking for in record time.

i dont relish in the shopping experience as i did as a teen.
i guess it comes from not having to only buy for myself,
and feeling guilty for spending too much money.
i usually shop for the new season ( winter , summer)
or for an event

Target is my only true shopping joy.
i can spend hours there buying nothing and everything
it never gets old to me

today my daughter begged for mom time
can we go shopping just you and me
she doesnt ask often so when she does i know she needs it
i like spending time with her and cant believe she's mine
already so poised and mature at 10

found what we need in record time. 3 stores in hour and a half.
she liked what we got and it was in price range
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!
i was so proud that i was bragging to brian
kenna overheard me say
it was a great shopping trip . we found what we needed and it didn't take long at all.
kenna chimes in
yay i know. ( in her sweet preteen voice =sarcasm)
you wanted to shop longer? i questioned
YESS!!!!!!!
why didn't you say anything?
you didn't ask.

we are different creatures she and i
i'm pretty laid back,lazy, and not super girlie
she is a driven, hard-working,perfectionist who LOVES to shop
we have some similarities- sports, humor, last name
but we are God's unique creations.
Hard a times but intriguing at others.
I LOVE HER!!!

exhaustion

my eyelids weighed 2 tons today
pinching myself in BSF today
dozing on the couch
napping on my bed.
snoring
STILL TIRED

i know why and i hate the reason.
my whole life is now broken up in which week or day it is
my cycle

ovulating day (yes i feel it)
grumpy & irritable week
tired day
upset stomach day
cramp days
PERIOD
10 days
good normal week and a half
start all over

hate emotions and feelings hormone induced
why cant i be me all the time
love no birth control
hate natural cycles
womanhood has its perks
this isn't one of them

clean carpets

had the carpets cleaned today
loving the results
but
moving furniture
left evidence
we are filthy
spots everywhere
reverse spots
clean spots where furniture was
Brian comments
wish it could stay this clean
it will some day
when kids gone
trade off really

clean carpets
no kids

dirty carpets
house filled with dirt...
and laughter
and joy
and excitment
and love