wrapping

I have finished wrapping my presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now i can officially enjoy Christmas!
All i have left to do is baking and cooking and cleaning.
O.K.... now i can officially enjoy being done with wrapping!
this picture is my motivation .
a ghost from Christmas Past.

proud mama

my daughter was awarded with the most valuable player award for her school volleyball team. i was so proud and surprised. she is only a 5th grader and while she is very good i thought there was one 6th grader who was better than her. i would have picked the 6th grader over a 5th grader as it is a 6th graders last year at the school. oh well, still very proud. one of the comments that the coach said about her is that she has a humble heart. WOW. of all the things that he said that was the one that brought the tears. my kid is being perceived as being humble. not that i think she isn't but when someone else tell you it shocks you ( in a good way :)) i just need to keep praying for the humility to continue and that it will rub off on the rest of us :). not that we are proud or boastful its just that we are human and try to do things in our own ability instead of trusting God for provision.
I"M RAMBLING
good night!

blogging misfit

i am not just a misfit.
you know- that rudolph song that the elf dentist sings?
i know that just posting videos is not blogging.
sometimes i just enjoy what other people figure out.
lack of creativity- lack of originality- lack of energy.

i always have such big hopes for christmas memories.
i want my kids to get the true meaning or christmas
yet i also enjoy the silly juvenille parts of it too.
elf movie, the grinch, the santa clause,
lights, decoration
christmas clothes and pj's
christmas dishes and cd's

i did a better job with kenna and graham
or maybe they are just more mature and finally get it
andrew is another story.
he knows that the reason we celebrate is Jesus BUT
he LOVES santa!
tonight we read an adorable book called "Santa's Favorite Story"
santa tells the animals in the forest his favorite story of
the 1st christmas and the Christ child's birth.
santa tells the animals that they would still have christmas even if he didn't deliver gifts.
he says the best part if christmas is Jesus
andrew pipes in , "I love Santa the best Mom"
graham and i plead Jesus' case.
Jesus was God's gift of love.
Santa loves Jesus best.
without Jesus Santa wouldn't do what he does.
NOPE
Not going for it.

so what's the alternative?
no Santa at all.
no elves or silliness?
breaking down all the fun legends of childhood?
no tooth fairy, santa, easter bunny?
well actually, i dont particularly like the easter bunny, but i do like the others and the whimsy they bring.
BUT I LOVE JESUS MOST AND I WANT MY KIDS TO LOVE HIM MOST TOO!!!

I know we are going to be facing this debate soon as part of Brian's family don't do santa
their kids make a point of telling my kids there is no santa
kenna and graham can handle it but andrew...
it could get ugly.
i respect their right as parents not to do santa
why cant i be respected as a parent for letting my kids do santa?

this isn't the only area i feel this
homeschooling vs public
tv vs no tv
the movies we let our kids watch
books we let them read
cover your ears... harry potter
Yikes!
never quite feel like i am following the christian parent manual
yet i feel and see that my older kids love Jesus.
should i be isolating them more from the world?
insulating them from the secular?
there are moments when even i feel the pressure of satan and his hold on this world bearing down on my kids.
i want to grab them and move to a cabin in the woods.
protected from the world's evil and filth
yet my own sin and their own sin would still be there.
SOO...
i continue to do the best i can
i go to the Word for wisdom and pray for direction from the Spirit.
maybe i'm making mistakes but i'm doing the best i can
i hope my kids won't blame me too much
but then what will they have to complain about to their future spouses
if i dont make some big mistakes with them?:) j/k

not the turn i was planning to take with this blog but it is what it is.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

can-can

Non-Crappy Starring You! eCards on JibJab

snowball fight

Non-Crappy Starring You! eCards on JibJab

it's the 70;s baby

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!slimfast eat your heart out!

hausshoedown

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!
yee haw

jibjab

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

elf yourself

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1145868715

Grahammy Joe

you know in the sound of music when the sisters sing that song about maria?
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
i need to make my own version for my Grahammy Joe.
such a quirky funny kid.
sweetness, gentleness, tenderness
peppered with onriness, stubborness and forgetfulness.
in fact i think my son is the female version of that sound of music song.
How do you make him stay and listen to all you say?
how do you keep a wave apon the sand?

Graham is not a problem though.
just a puzzle that i am continuing to figure out.
actually it is not that hard
Graham is me.
fun-loving & friendly yet lazy and forgetful.
Procrastination should be our middle names instead if Marie and Joseph.

if it wasn't for Graham who would collect all the randon rocks on the ground?
if it wasn't for Graham who would make me feel cool that at 37 i'm still playing LegosStarWars with him in my free time?
who would sing me show tunes, 50's music and U2 songs?
who would take 20 minute showers? ( well actually ,thats another area that Graham and I share.)
How would I know the proper procedure for emergency room visits?
who would point to me after he scores a goal ( after much prodding by his mom)?

Graham makes life exciting and exhausting.
he is like grover from sesame street. Cute and Adorable

thanksgiving and mortality

went to visit my grandparents this thanksgiving
live in south east arizona
they are in their 80's now
this is the 1st visit i realized
they are mortal
they won't be here forever
the house that is on 2 acres in the gorgeous high desert

not a kid friendly house by any means
grandma has reached the cranky, "dont touch that" stage
kids want to go home after about 2 days but
always want to go visit again every year
lots of memories for me there
love it more now than i did as a kid
remember thinking it was boring when i was a kid

wont always be there for me and my family
cant imagine it yet its closer than i want to admit
hard to watch capable vibrant people slowly fall apart
knee surgery here
cataract surgery there
grandpa do you have your teeth?
grandma let me get that heavy plate for you.

they have been married for 60+ years now
married at 18
if one goes before the other it will be absolute misery for the other

im thankful for them and the love they have given me
they are flawed and human like the rest of us
yet they are mine and i love them

never boring

brian and i are celebrating our 15th year in Dec.
dated 4 years b4 that
19 of the best years of my life
I LOVE HIM!!!!!!
so why do i argue with him still?
each argument never to different from that last.
Jen-you dont hear me
Brian-no, You dont hear Me
Jen-Why dont you listen?
Brian-Why don't you listen?
Jen- you always do this.
Brian- well you never do that.

on and on and on and on and on
quite a mystery at times

I prayed for a husband like Brian
I praised God for giving me such a great husband
i dont deserve the gift that Brian is in my life
Yet....
we drive each other crazy at times.
sometimes like speaking to a foreigner
we are saying the same thing just speaking a different language
why is that?
do i blame adam and eve?
do i blame myself?
should i stop blaming Brian?
i'm sure it is not the last one!:)

after a fight i truly feel my fallen nature.
after resolution i feel so remorseful and repentant
so connected and close to Brian after forgiveness
why am i me? why can't i be better?
why am i always right?:) j/k

Less of me and more of you God.

clothes shopping

i dont know when i became a speed shopper.
it must have been somewhere b/t kid 1 and 2.
i try to see as much as i can in a short time OR
find what i'm looking for in record time.

i dont relish in the shopping experience as i did as a teen.
i guess it comes from not having to only buy for myself,
and feeling guilty for spending too much money.
i usually shop for the new season ( winter , summer)
or for an event

Target is my only true shopping joy.
i can spend hours there buying nothing and everything
it never gets old to me

today my daughter begged for mom time
can we go shopping just you and me
she doesnt ask often so when she does i know she needs it
i like spending time with her and cant believe she's mine
already so poised and mature at 10

found what we need in record time. 3 stores in hour and a half.
she liked what we got and it was in price range
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!
i was so proud that i was bragging to brian
kenna overheard me say
it was a great shopping trip . we found what we needed and it didn't take long at all.
kenna chimes in
yay i know. ( in her sweet preteen voice =sarcasm)
you wanted to shop longer? i questioned
YESS!!!!!!!
why didn't you say anything?
you didn't ask.

we are different creatures she and i
i'm pretty laid back,lazy, and not super girlie
she is a driven, hard-working,perfectionist who LOVES to shop
we have some similarities- sports, humor, last name
but we are God's unique creations.
Hard a times but intriguing at others.
I LOVE HER!!!

exhaustion

my eyelids weighed 2 tons today
pinching myself in BSF today
dozing on the couch
napping on my bed.
snoring
STILL TIRED

i know why and i hate the reason.
my whole life is now broken up in which week or day it is
my cycle

ovulating day (yes i feel it)
grumpy & irritable week
tired day
upset stomach day
cramp days
PERIOD
10 days
good normal week and a half
start all over

hate emotions and feelings hormone induced
why cant i be me all the time
love no birth control
hate natural cycles
womanhood has its perks
this isn't one of them

clean carpets

had the carpets cleaned today
loving the results
but
moving furniture
left evidence
we are filthy
spots everywhere
reverse spots
clean spots where furniture was
Brian comments
wish it could stay this clean
it will some day
when kids gone
trade off really

clean carpets
no kids

dirty carpets
house filled with dirt...
and laughter
and joy
and excitment
and love

update

after a long absense the grizzly bear has come out of hibernation. she's happy and stress-free, just dont tell her cubs:)

Update
PMS-gone
Lump-benign
Afterschool sports- done for the moment! yaay
kids report cards- great
gas tank- full (for the moment)

Hopefully her mama bear instinct wont rear it's ugly head at the dentist tomorrow. her youngest cub is getting a filling tomorrow and they have to sedate him to do it b/c he is so young. Explain to me how a kid who had 2 siblings with no cavities still, already has his first at three.
Actually dont explain it b/c i know and its the mama bear's fault. Not as diligent with the oral hygiene by cub #3 but that has now changed. He has the cleanest teeth in the san joaquin valley.
Cub # 3 also has started the annoying and odd habit of talking about himself in the third person.
"Andrew doesn't like the dentist".
"Andrew is hungry."
"Andrew wants a peanut butter tortilla"
Maybe he has been watching too much Star Wars and is identifying with Jar Jar Bink's speech patterns.

PMS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM A GRIZZLY BEAR TODAY
STAY AWAY
HIDE YOUR CHILDREN
AND YOUR CHOCOLATE
DISAGREE WITH ME AT YOUR OWN RISK
DON'T BREATH TOO LOUD
I'M NOT YOUR MAID
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

open windows

the weather is changing.
doors and windows open.
fresh air streaming in.
long pants long sleeves.
apples in the supermarket.
pumpkin patches on the corners.

don't feel so cooped up.
amazing how a open window lightens my day.
ready to accomplish something.
not just hibernate away from the heat.

break out the crock pot.
time for stews, meatloaf , and pot roast.
mugs of steaming tea
Coffee warming my tummy.
defrosting me from the chill.

change of seasons like a new beginning
time for change.
chance to be a better me.
summer jen is gone.

Introducing fall jen.
she cooks, cleans, sews.
has time for God, husband , kids and self.
All in balance.

CHECK ME IN A WEEK TO SEE HOW WELL I KEEP IT UP.

I AM MY MOTHER

Let me start by saying i love my kids.
they are a blessing that i cant begin to be worthy of having.
I love all 3 of them and more importantly genuinely like them.

BUT...

how do you get through to a chronic airhead.
And before you assume its the girl it is not.
my middle born is the sweetest, most thoughtful kid you will ever meet,
but he cant remember ANYTHING.
for the past week i have asked him everyday if he has the items he needs to bring home after school and EVERYDAY he has forgotten something.
i have taken away TV , docked allowance, i even went to talk to teacher. Nothing seems to stick.
is it a passing phase?
is it a middle child thing?
HELP
i am becoming the nag that i swore i would never be.

Pushing it

I consider myself a pretty positive person.
i also consider myself a big sports fan.
The 49ers are the object of one of my fanaticism.
HOWEVER...
yesterday they pushed it with mes.
I had tickets to the game with Seattle.
I got up early , a true sign of my love since i loathe early mornings,
and drove 4 hours to the bay area.
Parked in what seemed like Oakland and paid $25 for that priviledge.
walked about a mile+ thru drunks and beer cans.
Made it to my seat and believe it or not i was still excited to see the game.
I saw the journey as a rite of passage for a true niner fan.
we are call the 49er faithful aren't we.
Yet what proceeded tested even the most faithful fan.
I can honestly say that the football game was the worst professional sport event i have ever seen.
fumbles,penalties,injuries,penalties,interceptions,penalties.
I felt like i was watching a pop warner game without the adorable rugrats in uniforms 10x's too big for them.
at one point my friend and i were convinced that they had more backward yardage in penalites than forward yardage in rushing and passing.
DISGUSTED
we left after the 3rd quarter to beat the rush out of the parking lot.
or so we thought.
2 HOURS before we were even out of the parking lot.
a trip that with no traffic takes 4 hours took 6.5 hours.
i spent 10.5 hours in the car, walked 2 miles, and saw the worst game in history of the niners.
This may be my last live professional game.
I would much rather watch at home in comfort with clean bathrooms, no driving, cheap food instant replay.
THAT BEING SAID...
i still love the niners and can't abandoned them
maybe we just need a little time and distance apart.
a break
i think 6 days will do it

Flight of the Conchords- Business Time

humor only the wedded can appreciate

SNL Digital Short: Andy Popping into Frame

POP

All our operators are busy.....

Well, not the appt. i was expecting.
It's never comforting when a dr. comes in and says there is good news and bad news.
in fact when i go back to med school i am going to make sure that i never say that to any patients .
Right after i finish law school, win a nobel peace prize and write a best seller.

goods news- we think it might be a cyst
bad news- the density isn't appearing as a cyst would
Tell her what she wins Bob...
A brand new breast biopsy

So instead of getting a definite answer about the lump,
( i need to think of a better name for it like Norman or Rodrigo)
I got hurry up and wait.
All our operators are busy...
approximate waiting time is 2 weeks...
Please continue to hold...
Your boob is important to us.

Back to Matthew Gospel I go.
or maybe i'll detour into Philippians.
do not be anxious about anything
but through prayer and petition with thanksgiving
present your request b4 God
and the peace that passes all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus

AAHHH
Okay, much better.
get thru today.
2morrow will take care of itself.
Carpe Diem
Live in the now
ummm... that's all i got.
any other catchy phrases will have to be forthcoming.

Program interruption

You know how you'll be watching your favorite show and the network breaks into the program and ruins the football game, or the series finale?
You had been looking forward to watching this show all week and now everything comes to a halt until you find out what was so dang important.

I had a life program interruption today.
Advanced medical imaging called.
Need a more extensive mammogram & breast ultrasound
THIS THURSDAY!
Seems very soon for something not serious.
STAY CALM
regular programming will resume shortly.


I live with 2 worriers
I know how to handle their worries
I even pre-marked passages in Kenna's bible before i gave it to her as a gift.
MATTHEW'S GOSPEL
don't worry about tomorrow
flowers and birds don't
God loves them and takes care of them.
How much more does he love me?

Get through today first.
It is like when you were a kid.
One of your teachers gave you a quiz
It had all these ?'s and at the top it said
Read all the instruction before completing this quiz.
the last line of the quiz said
write only your name at the top of the paper and turn in the quiz.
That is what I going to remember.
I'm not going to jump ahead and worry about what-if's
WAIT!
get all the instructions before panicking.

Sunday

missions sunday at church today.
amazing young adults
so much trust and passion for their God.
willing to stand out.
aching for the lost.
faith for God's provision and
what He will lead them into.
my insufficiencies glare into my soul.
older in my faith but so young in my trust.
so immature in my sacrifice.
so selfish in my evangelism.

I know i serve in my own way
serving my family
evangelism of my kids & their friends
but is it enough?
do i really challenge myself for Christ?
Less of me More of You , Lord.

worshipping with my kids at Family celebration blesses me.
The excitement, fun and joy is what God intended our
spirits to feel when we unite with our Christian family.
forget about decorum and appearances.
jump for joy.
shout and sing.
Blow giant bubbles with hubba bubba for God :)

Blog Beginnings

this is a new medium for me. i don't see myself as a writer or one who has a need to document my life in pictures or words , but after seeing that this is a easy way to journal, and journaling is something i have wanted to develop as a habit, i thought i would give it a go.

life is crazy but also fulfilling.
the mom tornado engulfs me
i see endless road that i must drive
dropping kids here and there
never quite caught up with any one thing

then the hugs come
smiles during the drive
laughter
kids singing HSM2 at the top of there lungs
confessions of problems in their lives
easier to share when heads are facing forward
watching the road

Today Graham is bummed
Kenna and i recall a man we saw peeing
out in the open the day before
GROSS
graham pipes in
i miss all the good stuff
all the dead animals on the side of the road
all the guys peeing
the boy brain is a hilarious mystery to me