NEW YEAR

Im not a join w/ the crowd girl
if everyone is reading the book
or watching the movie
or joining the diet
i tend to shy away or wait.
i also dont enjoy being told
to turn to the person next to me in church
and say something...God loves you etc.
not that i dont feel that God loves them but
i want to tell them in a genuine conversation
not b/c i have been told to do it in mass obedience.

all this to say i need to lose weight.
a lot of weight.
yet i dont want to do it now b/c everyone is dieting.
i also dont want to fail yet again
i've tried MANY times .

i dont enjoy being fat.
i feel like i am letting down so many people.
mom, bri, kids, extended family, myself.
im the only one with weight problem.
so far no health problems but i know im ticking time bomb.

so... im trying yet again.
or as yoda says
not try...do
could this be the year?
20 years since high school.
reunion may be the motivation.

so goodbye McD's
goodbye drive thrus
goodbye flavored creamers
goodbye cookies and chips.
its been fun but our days together are thru.
dust off the treadmill.
park far in parking lots.
where did i put that pedometer?
i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.